I'm stuck

No matter how hard I try,
No matter how far I go,
No matter how beautiful my new journey is,

I will stop in the middle of the road,
Looking back to the past,
Crying like a kid,
Praying that I could change everything in the past,
Hoping that I could make him smile again,
Ignoring others and also the rumors,
So that I will not be guilty and lonely

But there is no other way I could meet him again,
Even though I keep on praying,
Deeply inside my heart,
That we will be together in here or in jannah

But Allah is Great,
HE knows what is the best for HIS creatures,
I will be like this,
Until the day that HE open up my heart
So that I could fall in love once again

I firmly believe,
This is just a challenge and a trick for me,
To be a better Muslim,
To be a better daughter,
To be a better sister,
To be a better cousin,
To be a better friend,
To be a better student,
To be a better lover for him or maybe anyone else only Allah knows.

Deep inside my heart,I am still waiting for this someone








that will never come back to me.

spontaneously by yours truly with lot of tears,
20 October 2010; 0005 hour
an auto-published entry.