17 March 2011

Dear Diary # 34

When you lose someone you love,When he/she breaks your heart.. It will be the hardest thing you could ever go through and no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. You may think you are getting better, but then you get a flashback or hear a song that reminds you of a memory and it hits you all over again,all at once,like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time. And you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. You love this person with all of your heart,even though you know you shouldn’t. He/she hurts worse than you have ever been hurt, he/she stoles your happiness but yet you still want him/her and only him/her.

Other person come along and give you chances to move on but you know you cannot do that. It upsets you that you might be moving on because you promised you never would. And even he/she broke all his/her promises, but you still want to keep yours.

On top of that, you are terrified. Terrified of getting hurt again. But it’s not like it matters anyway. At the end of the day you are still thinking about the person who has left you with completely broken inside.That's my life goes on within this 2 years. But I am still strong and stand still with my own thought and never hope for any sympathy from others because this is LIFE,you will gain some when you lose some. Keep our faith in HIM.

Even IF I miss him a lot,but I kept it in my heart and most of the time in my blog only because there is the only way that I can express myself and feel better about my decision not to accept anyone after him. Hopefully I can stand still and be firm like this until next few years InsyaAllah. I am not finding someone just for love,but I want to find someone that I can live happily with until the end of the world.


kays said...

your post read me so well ! it was like you were living in my life :)thanks for sharing :)

a's said...

maybe its because we are in the same shoes :)
your welcome dear,hope we will become stronger day by day insyaAllah!