11 April 2011

The Flashback

Just exploring my black thumb drive few hours ago and I found out too many things to be remember there. And 99% of the contents are pictures from 2008 until 2010. How I wish I could turn the time but that would be so impossible and in Islam also there is no 'turning back time' anna! Istighfar sekarang!! *Astaghfirullahalazim...

No wonder some of my close friends found out that I have changed a lot. They said I become more SOMBONG and hard to smile with people. But that was few years back where the transition phase happened la I think. I'm getting better day by day but still the wound is there.No doubt about that. And it is still can bleed at any time when there is stimulus to stimulate the bleeding.

I realized that I have lost my SMILE and yours too! Maybe in your daily life now you do smile but I kinda miss your smile with all the jokes that you made to make me one happy lady on Earth when I am with you in those past time.

I found a picture of you were sleeping soundly at Dome,KLCC too! I remember,you always take a nap/sleep for 10-15 minutes when we are in the middle of 'dating'.ROFL. Then I was left alone and don't know what to do. How sweet is that huh? That was my first time having such lover who loves to sleep no matter where we are and what we are doing at that time.Dome,Starbucks and etc were the places that you used to sleep and I was blurred ALONE! :D

Besides,I found many pictures which were edited by you with such techniques that I have only discovered last year. How lumpy I am? -_-' You were the first one who cultivates my interest in photography almost 3 years back. Masa tu masing-masing tak ada camera DSLR lagi dan masih guna compact camera tapi this someone is too passionate about photography and the gadget alone cannot stop him to pursue his interest.

By the way,Thank you for giving some of your passion to me in order for me to develop my unknown so-called skill kot? I hope I can be like you someday. A humble yet creative and smart photographer and always come out with brilliant ideas through your pictures. And I adore most of your landscape artwork. You are such a legend in that genre which I weak at most!

The feeling and emotion turn upside down when it comes to this someone but I always calm myself and said that "At least I have the chance to know him even though he is not mine". Alhamdulillah,thank you Allah for giving me such opportunity to know this someone even only in a short time but I am so grateful. The memories would be my greatest treasure in life.

This is so embarrassing but I have to admit that I miss you much today with no strong reason.Please slap my face!!!!!!!


Hazlin Lalala said...

awww sayg !!! i wish i can hug u now!! =( be strong girlfrennn....u've gotten stronger now.. i believe in u.. focus pade ape yg perlu d focuskn sekarang k??? if u feel sad, fill ur time doing sometin u love.. so that x terpk sgt la.. bz kn diri... i really2 know how i feel... i wish i blaja kt tmpt same as u now so that i can be with u everytime u feel sad....

a's said...

#Hazlin Lalala
you know me well dear! huhu,i don't know why i miss him damn much today.maybe its because of hormone? or whatever it takes but i need to write it here so that at least i got a medium to unwind myself.

Alhamdulillah i'm getting stronger but I can't escape myself from being followed by the 'shadow' of those memories..

wish you were here right now! Miss ya!! ;'(

kays said...

i do know how it feels , just be strong kak anna , one day u'll get pass through it :) i know the feeling of not wanting anybody to replace him though he's not the so-good-to-be-true kind of guy anymore , but sometimes we just have to let it go. for a better sake , insyaAllah :)

fanafanny said...

agree with kay!!
any problemo, just tell me twin!anytime,anywhere!!

now,just focus for the last paper.jangan sampai tersangkut ok!nobody can help u anymore once we are in the exam hall =)

remember!! jangan putus harapan pada Dia! one day u will find ur mr right.insyaAllah